Masturbation is a tabooed word, not to be spoken in the public realm — This is a social conditioning which is taken as truth for most of us. As for me, I had not masturbated until the age of 33. I did not even had this word in my spoken dictionary because no one talked about it. And let me tell you, I was a biology graduate, LOL!
That were my early years as a corporate professional where I was going through a sexless marriage for more than 5 years and had no other recourse. It was one day because of a hormonal peak, I felt an urge to do something with my sexual urge and ended up rubbing my genitals. That was when I found a strange pleasure in it.
I did it discreetly so that no one can catch me doing this “dirty act” and found hell lot of pleasure for the next three days, until I stopped for another two years.
It was during the course of my sexual awakening and my journey of becoming a sex educator, where I was beginning to focus on myself and I attended a Tantra workshop where I learnt about mindful masturbation for the first time. This is when I saw and touched my body with love, grace, and curiosity for the first time.
Ever since, my relationship with my body changed and my self-pleasure experience reached the next level. This new found experience made me research and study about the concept of “mindful masturbation” which is a goal-free whole-body pleasure and awareness experience.
And now, I facilitate mindful masturbation coaching sessions for male and female clients.
Common problems around masturbation
“I don’t have a partner at the moment and therefore my sex life is only existing through masturbation. I feel sad and frustrated about it. I would like to have more fulfilling experience with self sex.”
“My masturbation experience is quite ‘same type’ and boring and it’s more of a stress relief or something I am doing as a distraction. I would like masturbation to be more pleasurable for me.”
“I want to learn how to have better orgasms for myself, and to become more familiar with my sexual self.”
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“I am used to the combination of porn + masturbation and I feel guilty about it. I also feel my addiction to porn has increased. Is there a way I can masturbate without being dependent on porn?”
“I have never masturbated in my life. The thought of looking at my genitals make me feel icky. I also have 0 sex drive. My husband tells me to masturbate but I can’t get there. Help me!”
Here’s how I support through masturbation coaching sessions
Pleasure – In your busy schedule this is what you need, an hour for yourself where you get in touch with your body and feel the lovely and delicious sensations under guidance.
Inspiration – I teach new ways to touch oneself and add freshness in the self-touch routine with touch, sound, breath and movement.
Healthier habits – Feeling drained with vibrators or porn and masturbation? I help put in place a healthy structure for masturbation that nourishes you deep within and is a best wellness regime you can have for yourself.
Feeling more, thinking less – A lot of people get stuck in stimulation but lose out on feeling. We move towards gentler, and slower approach to self-pleasure. You will move your body physically in a gentle way and not overtly stimulating way. Gently awakening the body makes it grounded, awakened, and alive! It helps destress via the body when the mind becomes full of worries and anxieties.
What is a virtual masturbation coaching session?
I have in the beginning got all kinds of wrong enquiries from men who thought it’s a kind of paid sex service where they will be fondling their genitals in front of me. Masturbation coaching is not a ‘paid sex’ service where I will get them excited to climax.
Coaching is a structured process and a long-term one to bring a change in the experience and relationship of masturbation as a peak-crash cycle to a more fulfilling, relaxing, nourishing one.
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Masturbation coaching is not orgasm oriented, in fact orgasm is not even a goal here. A coaching program is designed to guide and empower you to improve and change your own limiting, dysfunctional experience.
So, how should you go about you ask?
Intake Form: Before we begin, I’ll ask you to fill in an intake form. This gives me some background on your current relationship to sex, masturbation, and your body. It also helps you notice why you want to commit to masturbation coaching sessions and what you want to get out of them.
Discovery Call: Then we schedule a 30 minutes discovery call to make ‘introduction’, for you to ask your questions and for me to begin to get a sense of you, and what we include as content. Masturbation Coaching Session is personalised to meet different client requirements and problems like: overcoming porn use, eliminating performance anxiety, feeling more self-love etc. This call doesn’t involve any nudity or masturbation and is held on Zoom. All calls are confidential, not recorded and accessed with a secure meeting ID and password (shared only between you and me).
Warm Up Session: I then introduce a ‘warm up exercise’ – that involves : focussing on your breath and trying out different types of breathing; exploring different types of self-touch in a non-intimate part of your body like your arm or thigh and exploring some simple body movements to help you relax tension and tightness in your body.
Subsequent sessions are structured in exploring your genital anatomy, learning more of breath, touch practices to deepen self-pleasure on a cellular level and connecting and touching your genitals in a mindful way.
